What do Taye Diggs, Kaizer Junior, James Earl Jones, Frederick Douglass, Terence Howard, Tiger Woods, James Brown, Kofi Annan, Harry Belafonte and Dali Tambo have in common? These brothers are all married to white women or light skinned women. Even rapper entertainer Lil Wayne is engaged to a light skinned women!
We have all seen a brother driving in the latest BEE mobile in Jozi.On arrival at a trendy coffee shop, LOW AND BEHOLD his date is a white woman. Now there is nothing wrong with dating a white woman or light skinned woman or marrying one but i want to delve into the top six reasons this happens
- Boosting our Ego
For some black men dating a white woman raises his ego like this brother is accomplishing something in life. COME NOW…..BY DATING A WHITE WOMAN!!I’ve seen the not so good-looking white women in the arms of a good-looking brother. (Maybe Seal and Heidi Klum are the exception because she is fine!)So clearly this is not only good for his ego but for him money, success and the white girl are signs that he has ARRIVED!
For some brothers it makes him feel like a big man because a white woman wants them. This mentality is not only ignorant because it places white woman as the epitome of beauty. (Long flowing hair and fair skin are the symbols of true beauty.)So white woman are placed on a pedestal and subscribe to the status quo or ignorant mentality that whoever has one is a man.
When i was growing up elokshin (Township) there was a song we sang as children.” Twang tswang lebone ngwana utswana lili kaladi” This meant that the light skinned woman was deemed to be beautiful for the mere fact that she was fair skinned. So if you have a light skin you are beautiful and not only that, black men would be in an almost hypnotized by your beauty.
For some brothers having bi-racial babies means that the children are deemed to be more beautiful and are also afforded more opportunities in life. Light skinned babies are still looked at as more exotic and more beautiful. Why would you want to have children with thick afro-comb hair when they can have long straight hair?
- Self Hate
Some brothers purposely seek out white woman because of self-loathing. They hate themselves and have issues with their own race so being with a white woman means that they are are separated from their own race so that they become white.
- Western standards of beauty
The media constantly bombards us with images of slim white woman with fair skins as the true standards of beauty. In the eyes of the world white women are accepted as more beautiful. I’ve read of tall slim black models being turned away at fashion houses in Europe for having the junk in the trunk-the AFRICAN BUM. So white woman with long slim bodies are not only coveted but are the very embodiment of true beauty. So why would a brother not want to be with a white woman if she is regarded and accepted worldwide as the embodiment of beauty!
In the weekly newspaper The Mail Online it was suggested that we are almost programmed to find other races attractive. For example white men find the faces of Asian women attractive while white women find the faces of black men attractive. So is it possible that that faces of white woman are more attractive to black men? Opposites do attract and white woman are the true standard of beauty.
- Black women are thought to be masculine they are controlling and like to run the relationship
I know of many black women who are domineering and some excessively so (xhosa women especially!). Many a strong black woman will emasculate her man by being too controlling and domineering in steering the relationship her way. Some brothers may feel that this is the man’s responsibility and would immediately shy away from a woman who is overly aggressive and controlling. I have met many married brothers who are bullied and controlled in every facet of their relationship. Their wives decide how to spend their paychecks and also decide what cloths they should wear.
Some brothers may feel that this is the man’s responsibility and would immediately shy away from a woman who is overly aggressive and controlling. I have met many married brothers who are bullied and controlled in every facet of their relationship. Their wives decide how to spend their paychecks and also decide what cloths they should wear. What the @#$% am I going out with my mother?
In the American online article called Psychology Today the question is raised as to why black women are physically less attractive than other women. Psychology Today mentions the fact that physical attractiveness among black women is governed by testosterone levels. Africans have higher testosterone levels and the scientist Satoshi Kanazawa further states that black women have higher testosterone(testosterone being an androgen male hormone) levels and as a result have more masculine features and are therefore more masculine than any other race. So our sisters are more manly than any other race. This sounds ridiculous but is interesting at the same time.
- Black women are not as sexually open as other races with regards to oral sex
Many black women are not as open when it comes to giving their partners oral sex. Chris Rock took a swipe at this in his stand- up comedy and said that black women don’t feel comfortable giving oral sex whereas white women are willing partakers in this vital part of the bed arts. I have come to the conclusion that this is selfish. Why would you not want to reciprocate what a brother has done for you in bed? The other reason is timidity. Stop being timid black woman and make the sexual experience sexually gratifying for both of you!
Simphiwe Matshikwe studied drama at the University of Witwatersrand Johannesburg. He is currently enrolled for a Post grad in Marketing Management through Unisa. He is passionate about media and television. Simphiwe was the face of Legalwise in 2011 and the lead in the FNB commercial. He will be completing the Soweto Marathon at the end of this year.