Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll

In order to start an all night party the following ingredients are needed:
  1. A Space big enough for 20 plus people
  2. Some girls to scream in the background, Durban music style. “ayeye” or “whoo-whoo”
  3. A gay man or two to get the dancing and talking started
  4. A  good ratio of men to women
  5. A range of alcohol to get the thinking distorted
  6. A designated Driver
Put ingredient 4 and 5 in 1. Let this simmer for an hour or two. Add 3 when the mood lifts and finally 2 when the atmosphere is at a peak. Sadly what disappoints is the fact that liquor licenses for distributors and vendors are controlled at a provincial level. So the premier (provincial government) decides when the bottle store closes, when the clubs stop selling liquor, who can sell wine on Sundays etc.  Furthermore, residential area laws dictate that noise levels be reduced to reasonable levels after certain times (e.g. 22h00 weekdays, or 00:00 weekends),topped with laws that prohibit public drinking, the odds are stacked against the peace and fun lover. But there are several flaws and inefficiencies in all systems and without breaking the law in some way there is no way to have a legal all night party. According to the liquor act, the aim of all these laws is to reduce alcohol abuse and alcohol related crimes. This is unfortunately the worst approach to take. With the biggest night life events going incident free,  such as the Good Hope Fm Kinky Afro party at the CTICC 2 weeks ago that attracted 7000 plus crisp blazer and tiny black dress wearing Capetonians.  The Miller “longest night of the year” party attracted 6000 plus South Africans, a simultaneous party in Joburg, Cape Town and Durban 19 July 2010. I personally don’t drink Miller, but when a beer producer decides to celebrate the longest night of the year in a free entry, cheap liquor affair; it is evidence that they share the same strong convictions as me. I will drink Miller to that. I sadly noted that both these events were regulated in terms of time, with bars closing at 4am instead of sunrise or even 6am. This is two less hours for events to make money, two less hours for DJ’s to play bump and grind music, two less hours to talk to the honey across the room, two less hours to pop a bottle for every moment your boss had given you trouble, two less hours to network, literally two less hours to live. So while the liquor license act might now dictate that 2am or 4am is the time for closing the bar, wouldn’t it make better sense to extend it to 6am or even 24 hours? While God may never bless us again with another Larry Flynt, Hugh Hefner or our own Lolly Jackson in this life time, their struggles should not be in vein. Adults should have the power to choose what happens below the belt (that’s real democracy). With the former police commissioner (Jackie Selebi) advocating for the temporary legalization of sex work during the soccer world cup it should be well recognized that this debate still has a long way to go before the chapter is closed. Sex trade and red light districts have serious advantages for the tourism industry; who goes to Amsterdam for the museums or Japan for Okinawa to study the roots of Karate, or even Thailand and Bali (Indonesia) for the tranquil atmosphere and introspection? So while the legislation is still catching up with peoples demands, what do you do in Cape Town after these regulated times for selling liquor have passed? Buy liquor legally(within reason) until 22h00 at the following venues, Harleys Liquors Cape Town, Pick and Pay Wine, 7/11 in Kloof street Cape Town (they sell spirits undercover), “Aunties liquors” Salt River (the late Manto Msimang approved) or Sundays at Midmar Greeenpoint and Diamond Liquors Greenpoint. You can buy liquor in a club after 4am at Club Ras, (this under cover venue in Lower Woodstock has had the likes of Roger Goode, Lady Lea and several other high profile DJs, cover might be steep, but hey, there’s a price to be paid for happiness). There are several other clubs to go to but safety is greatly compromised so this wouldn’t be advised. Bring out ingredient 6, head off to Signal hill or Rhodes Memorial as a few locals wakeup for sunrise, so in the early hours of the morning blend in with these admirers of the sun and finish up what’s left of your liquor purchase and toast to a night well spent. Life is short; a prison sentence is long, wear a condom and drive dry. And no means no ( apparently some Guys don’t get that).

One thought on “Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll

  • July 27, 2010 at 8:14 pm

    Maz, that was absolutely hilarious. Your bio potrays you as having a perfect life at the moment: I don’t believe it though, 4 days a week, get out of here. I’m proud though, the world is yours Maz, or should I say; Better?


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