Gay? Honestly?

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Something has been bothering me. It has been bothering me for a while. Perhaps you can assist me with my dilemma. What makes a man wake up one day and decide that what he wants to do for the rest of his life is stick his thing in another man’s anus? What kind of ‘genes’ are only satisfied by penetration to a hole that excretes faeces? Is this why when people swear they say “up yours?” Of course it is infuriating for that swear word to be used upon any body. I have never seen a happy person who has been bestowed that insult upon them. Personally, I think it is the most disgusting gene in the universe. I do. It is a right in this free country and it sure shows us what lengths human beings will go in order to test and express that freedom. Think about it, it is toilet business. If I see two men who are lovers, all I can think of is ‘toilet’. I can’t seem to get past it no matter how pretty they may look. This is exactly what makes me believe that a man involved in something so stinky must over compensate by looking pretty. I do not even believe that it has anything to do with wanting to be a woman. Let’s say there is a woman gene in a man gene which makes one homosexual. Why in the world would a woman gene want that?

There are two extreme camps in the homosexuality debate, those who are pro homosexuality and anti homosexuality. Both of these camps are extremists who will go at lengths to push a one sided agenda and often both are always unreasonable and unwilling to listen to the other. Both are over sensitive about the matter.My view represents none of the above.  All I am saying is, is that seriously what you like and choose given all the freedom in the world? It baffles me. Freedom means that we can protect one another even if we disagree with each other’s preferences. Whilst studies show that more homosexuals suffer from mental related diseases, the issues have very little to do with public perceptions and pressures, the cause rather is the often strenuous instability often found in homosexual relationships. There are various medical conditions that gays are more likely to suffer from than heterosexuals. Conditions I do not wish upon anyone because they are so unpleasant I do not even want to mention them. My main concern besides speaking lightly about something everyone is so over-sensitive about is the fact that when this lifestyle is sold to young people, the full picture is not presented to them. Young people are only taught about homosexuality as simply one of the sexual choices they can choose. It is an alternative,  teenagers are warned and taught extensively about teenage pregnancy, the importance of using condoms, abstinence and educated on sexual diseases that may occur should they get sexually active. These are also to be found in clinics, in every youth program and school campaigns one can think of, yet no adverts or campaigns are visible to educate teenagers about the lifelong health consequences of a homosexual lifestyle. Teenagers should not only be warned about the consequences of contracting HIV, using drugs or the dangers of anorexia but teenagers must also be taught about diseases of choosing a homosexual life. It is also a right for them to know that, even if they will experiment with any of the above mentioned choices.

My friends from Zimbabwe tell me that their friend become straight the moment they cross the border to Zimbabwe. Africa  widely rejects homosexuality. My guess is that it is not that it never existed before but that it has always been a secret lifestyle.  A recent Afrikaans film Skoonheid, made about Bloemfontein men is a good example. I would not watch the film as a sensitive viewer but it was inspired by real events. They are normal men with families. They love rugby and they look nothing like the gay guy walking down Long Street. They look like the supporter sitting on the stands of a Super14 game passionately supporting their team. They are racist. They have big bellies but in the afternoon they visit these strictly white gay clubs.  It is said that it is also  practiced in Zululand by Zulu men and they too would never call themselves gay. I was informed by a friend who has worked extensively with HIV in the region and they could trace the wide spread of HIV to that unspoken dark lifestyle. In my imagination I think it happened in Shaka’s military camps. It is of course a lot more sincere to be the gay guy walking down Long Street hand in hand with another man than the one who visits dark places without the knowledge that he has a wife at home. This kind of man has no back bone. The man who has a back bone is the one in lipstick and high heels.  I particularly feel for the women whose men lead this lifestyle in secret.

African leaders cannot be serving their nations fairly by criminalizing homosexuality it is  happening in the underground anyway. If it is not banished perhaps it will lead to a more honest lifestyle where men show who they are in the light. These men in Bloemfontein have been practicing this since apartheid days, which proves that criminalizing homosexuality does not stop it from happening. What is more grievous in our country is corrective rape and murder of homosexuals. This is appalling and unjust. However this is a topic for another day. Today was about this toilet loving ‘gene’. Dear man, if you have been possessed by this unpleasant gene, for your sake and many women’s sake, I wish you freedom, healing and self acceptance.

Siki Dlanga

I am a South African woman who laughs out loud. I think beauty is not well understood so too often it is exploited and too often its power underrated. The course of life is most impacted by those who have the most significant conversations. Thus life is the sum of conversations. I hope to capture you with the beauty of being in conversation.

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