1 Goal – Sleeping With a Tourist

The 400 000 plus visitors that came to our shores blessed us with the best world cup experience only fitting for a place as special as South Africa. They sampled our food, they checked out our museum, and they even visited our night spots and got a wave from Madiba. But I kept wondering how much they know about the way Africa gets down in the sack. We promised them a full African experience it only makes sense that sex forms a decent part of it.
Sex experts from the latest Cosmopolitan issue wrote a list (from survey research) on what the top sexual fantasies among men and women were. The top ten (both among men and women) featured a fantasy that was no surprise to me “intimacy with a total stranger”. With this powerful research it only made sense to assume that a big part of the euphoria experienced by the soccer supporters post 90mins had a lot to do with the prospect of realizing this fantasy.

Having met over 5000 tourists, taken more than 8000 pictures of soccer fans, sleeping with 0 (by choice) and popping an average of 6 bottles a week (not by choice) , in Clubs, Fan Parks, Stadiums and Fan Walks I saw the above coming to light. The German T-shirt would kiss the Bafana T-shirt, Netherlands T-shirt would kiss the Mexican T-Shirt, the French T-shirt would kiss the Australian T-shirt. And my T-shirt… (Well…) couldn’t help but think “that’s why they are called sex experts”. They do the science and research and we see it in play. Let’s take a look at the best venues in Cape Town for this activity during the world cup.

Casa Little Brazil: In Sea Point, Cape Town was packed with Samba Kings, who had abs like the movies and Latina models that looked kike they had just walked off the run way. This was during the Portugal vs. Brazil match. This event was enough to have split up 50 year marriages. I sacrificed watching the game in Portuguese so as to Samba it out in this sold out event.

Grande Parade Fan Park: Saturday s, no weekend was dull in the center of Cape Town, With the Cape of Good Hope Castle Built by the Dutch across the road from the fan park, the Netherlands supporters certainly felt like this was their back yard. They took this belief with them when looking for that African flavour.

Cape Town Long Street: And I mean Street. Felt like Mardi-gras. With the clubs not being as packed as they usually are, the party was on the street, to the extent of sometimes having to close it down and letting the festivities commence. This New Orleans style flair we owe to the Americans who were hot, exciting, partially dressed and liberal.

Go VIP list or GO get bounced: Closer to the end, a new type of supporter hit our shores, THE BIG BALLAR. This premium member was VIP all the way, ST Eves Camps Bay, Club Fez Vaudeville, Jade. If ever there was a time for the Khanyi Mbau’s to get their weaves right and grab a rich man (from overseas) this was open time.

In all honesty, it was open time for those who have the God given talent to start and end a relationship (while having received all the benefits) in a matter of days.

1GOAL: to educate 72 million African kids so when they grow up they can take advice from sex experts and acquire the gift of managing an accelerated relationship so as to finally sleep with a tourist. Remember HIV is not a death sentence, Aids is. Wear a Condom, always.

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